Time to be selfish

Ok ya’ll, I’ve been in kind of a funk this week. Okay, maybe the last few weeks. But I am back at it again in full force. It took Paul giving me a few lectures, and popping up when I least expect him to.  I swear that man has a wanted poster behind every gas station counter saying, “If you see this person, call me.”  I am starting to get paranoid. Also, I got my ass chewed out from other people in my life, saying “Hey, things aren’t right with you.”  Maybe it was my birthday this week or the lectures I got, but I get it.  I am not taking care of me.

So here is what I found out. My biggest downfall is letting toxic people in my life. These are those people who you love, but they stress you out and make your life crazy, and rarely do anything positive for you. So I took a long hard look at the way things have been going lately. I have been working out, but that is only half the battle.  What suffers is my energy, the way I eat, and staying away for smoking. If my diet isn’t right, I can’t lose weight.  If I don’t stop smoking, it affects my workout.  So this weekend I finally said goodbye to these toxic people. I do hope they find a way to get the help they need, but right now I need to be focused on my daughter and myself.  This was and is hard for me, because I am a helper and a fixer. But I can’t help someone that doesn’t want to help themselves, and I can’t fix other people.  It is hard for me to realize that sometimes. A big part of me feels like I am being selfish, but anyone who knows me knows I am not a selfish person. But that is what I have to be now.  This is my health, my future, and my daughter’s too.  I have to be reminded of that sometimes.  Not only by myself, but by others too.  So thank you to all of you who gave me the ass kicking I needed this week!

Here are some ways I am going to keep myself on track. First, I am going to keep working out. Second, I am going to write a food plan each week. This will help me keep my food under control. I can’t take credit for this though, it was Paul’s idea. If I am like most of you, we get busy, so we eat out, stop for fast food, or whatever’s quick and on the go, because we don’t think we have time to eat right. I have to take time for eating healthy like I take the time to work out. It also means I have to take time to prepare food ahead of time (like making lunches for work).  I tried this for part of the week and it has been working. I will let you know how it is going next week. The third thing I need to do is quit smoking. I don’t know what the answer to this is quite yet, I am still working on it. I know it is part willpower and I make excuses to rationalize it to myself. Maybe I do need the wanted poster behind the registers! I will beat this one. I know that, and if I can this week I will be happy to say next week that I been smoke free for seven days. But if anyone has any really good ideas, please pass them on!

I celebrated my 39^th birthday this Friday (April 27^th). I have to be honest, I didn’t follow my diet so well that day. But I want to look back next year and say on my 40^th that I have reached most of my health goals, if not all of them. I am going to have a party, so mark you calendars now, you can come help me celebrate! I did have a very nice birthday this year! Thank you to all my wonderful family and friends who made my day very special! Love you all so much!