"The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs...One step at a time!"

Joe Gerard

I know it has been while since my last blog, but here I go with the newest update.  I have had many ups and downs on this journey, but I’m still sticking with it. I’m not perfect, but who is? The point is I am still trying! For the first time in over 10 years, I have gotten below 300 lbs. To me that is huge. I remember when I went over 300 lbs when I was pregnant with my daughter (who is now 9 ½). I actually had to go shopping for some new clothes and have went down 5 sizes since I started all of this. For the first time in I don’t know how many years I bought my first pair of real jeans. I know that sounds funny, but I haven’t been able to wear jeans unless they were stretchy jeans. For those of you who are wondering how much I’ve lost so far, here it is. Since I joined Anytime Fitness I’ve lost close to 80 lbs. and a total of 190 since my max weight.

I can’t say I am the best with my nutrition. I am still trying. As lifestyle and circumstances change, so does my diet. I have been all over the spectrum. If money and time weren’t an issue, we would all eat right. I do the best with what I am given, and I keep working out. One thing I have learned is that I tend not to eat when I am stressed out or upset, but I have gotten better about that. After all the work I have done, I don’t want to go back. I am still trying to find my right balance, but I’m not there yet.

In addition to my regular work outs, I am back to training with Paul again. Let me tell you he is still hard on me, even if you’re sick with bronchitis like I have been over the last two weeks. I still think he is trying to make his resume look good, but I am still alive. Just wondering when I am going to have a work out with him and am not sore for days after…lol.

I have a new obstacle coming up. I just was offered a full time position with the State of Wisconsin, so this means another change in schedules for me, but it’s for a very good reason. Now I will have to work harder at getting to the gym every day, but I know I can make it work. If not I know I will be hearing from some of you asking me why I am not there J Thank you all, again, for the support you have given me!

Your success and happiness lies in you!!

The month of August went better than expected; I lost 17 lbs. all on my own.  I know if were training with Paul it would have been more. But I am happy I did that much on my own.  I’m still looking forward to training with Paul again but have to wait a few more weeks.  Paul’s still keeping his eye on me though you better believe it.  I now have to sign in everyday I make it into the gym.  I also have to tell him what I did while I was there.  He’s still looking over my food journal when I bring it in too.  Paul is also giving me more exercises, plus taking the time to talk with me about life.

 

I still haven’t made my first goal to be less than 300 lbs. but I am getting closer everyday. I’ll be SO excited when I finally weigh in the two hundreds.  One of the contributing factors right now is food. Being on a budget doesn’t leave me much room to eat how I should when I still have to buy things that will feed the whole family.

 

My daughter is still my biggest cheerleader. She took a fall and hurt her knee so she wasn’t able to walk with me for a few weeks.  She was sad we missed a few weeks but she’s better so our nightly walks are back on.

 

I have some other big news too. I am now off of insulin!! I am still taking oral medication, but only as a preventive thing.  I’m close to not being diabetic anymore which gives me more motivation to keep going.  Getting my health back makes me feel all this hard work is worth it.  All you have to do is stop making excuses and START. I am finally seeing that!



"All our dreams can come true--if we have the courage to pursue them. " - Walt Disney

I am back once again, working hard.  I can start training with Paul again in October.  I think I need him…LOL.  I have lost another 10 lbs, on my own but still fell short of my goal for August. But, hopefully at the rate I’m going I’ll reach it before the end of August.
 

Today I was told by Paul that I need to do the stair climber for 5 min. Believe me, I was thinking to myself are you sure?! I can barely do 4!  But I was able to make it. Who would have thought?  I know it doesn’t sound like much, however I couldn’t do the stairs at all before I started training.  So I am pretty proud of myself. I am dreading when Paul will be back to training me full force again. Lord help me….then I’ll be back to running around the building to…just watch I already for see this.

It took me a little longer to break down the wall but I am now moving forward again.  I realize that sometimes I just let things get in my way, and I can’t let that happen anymore.  Like dating for instance, it’s just a complication I don’t need right how. It is too distracting and makes me lose focus on my goals.  Besides if I want to be with a healthy person I need to make myself healthy first.  Right?!?!

The other thing that was making me loose focus is my daughter.  Now that she is not in school, she’s wanted me to do more things with her.  To keep up with her, I have to build up my energy and endurance so that means I have to continue losing the weight to get healthy.  I often have to remind her of this.  So spending time with her has sometimes has to wait.  I tell you this is a hard one for me.  Sometimes it feels like I’m neglecting her.  I know I am not, but it just feels that way.  So to compromise I will spend an hour just waking with her each day.  This way she can do some of the exercise with me and I can still get my two hours in everyday!

 

Support and encouragement lead Dorothy to make a break through...

Not sure where to begin, things have been really hard on me lately. I guess because of it all, I got pretty depressed and started on a down world spiral. I cut down the days at the gym and as a result haven’t really been focusing on my diet.  I can make all the excuses I want, but the thing is I was only lying to myself. I haven’t gained any weight but I haven’t lost any either. The hardest part is not only do I feel like I let a lot of people down, but I let myself down too. So, now it is time to pick myself up and get back to it.

I do have some wonderful people who have really chewed me out. At first I was mad at them, I wanted to say screw you I am doing the best I can and to leave me the hell alone. But the fact is I needed them to say the things they said to me even if I didn’t want to hear them. Yes it did make me mad (and even cry), but I was mad at myself for not keeping with the program. The truth is I wasn’t doing what I needed to do to reach my goals. You can’t sit and wish to be healthy…I spent 9 years doing just that. If I want to be 160 lbs I have to do the work, nobody else can do it for me. But I am truly thankful for all of those who care about me enough to say, get your ass going again! I know I keep thanking people, but I have to say it again. Thank you Paul! Not only for chewing me out, but for NOT giving up on me when I was ready to give up on myself. Thank you to Jordan, Ryan and Alex for your encouragement and support. Even though I feel at times I am taking this journey on all by myself, I’m really not. There are some wonderful people who come out of the wood work when you least expect it. They become my new healthy friends and have added to the already wonderful support system I had.  I love all my family and friends (even my new ones)!

I am looking at this road block like a wall, and it’s up to me to break through it. It is not an easy thing to do. But the more you do it the easier it gets. I will break through this and I will get back on track. Please don’t stop reading, I have more good things to come, I know it. Good things are already happening to me—I have accepted a new position which means I can go back to training with Paul! So say tuned y’all.

Testing Her Limits!

I’ve been having a hard time making the scale move again. So, with Paul’s suggestion it’s time for me to step up my game. I will be increasing my workout time to 2 hours a day. Today was day one. I did make the scale move a little bit this week and lost 5 lbs. But to make the August 1^st goal that Paul gave me I need to be doing more. For those of you who don’t know I need to be under 300 lbs by then. That would mean 180 total pounds lost and 70 of that 180 would be since I joined the gym and started working with Paul. I thought it would be really bad to be at the gym twice a day, however it wasn’t as bad as I thought!  

Remember the AMT machine that I hated a few weeks ago? I managed to complete my first mile on it today. Something I thought would never happen. Not sure why I tried it today when I was only able to complete 5 minutes before. But I just told myself, "I will do a mile today," and I did! It is amazing what you can do when you set your mind to it. Sometimes it is making up your mind and just going for it! I don’t know why I ever thought that it was so scary before!

Finding The Strength to Achieve MY Goals

This has been one crazy week for me. Paul was gone until Thursday. I worked as hard as I could but when he got back I had gained 2 lbs. Unsure of what happened, we took a hard look at my diet. Turns out I haven’t been eating enough again. I still have a hard time thinking eating too little is making me gain weight but it must be true. I have lost 4 lbs. since then so I must be back on track.

Now I’m facing a few obstacles. The first obstacle is being on the job market again.
The position I have been working was only a temporary position. I was hoping it would end up being permanent but it didn’t work out. Good experience but due to the fact it is a nonprofit business there wasn’t enough funding to keep me on. I know they wish they could have kept me. So now I am job hunting again. This also means I have to take a brake from Paul until I find a new job. I hope it won’t be too long, because it scares me not being able to be trained by him. I will have to push my self harder and I hope I can do it!

The second is finding a sitter for my daughter. If I couldn’t find a sitter before I would bring her with me to the gym and she would watch me. But the rules of the gym say I can’t do that anymore. I understand and respect that. I’m sure she will be back when she is 14! This just makes it hard because I don’t feel she is old enough to say home by her self yet.

Like I said these are just obstacles. The old me would have used this as an excuse to quit, but that is not an option for me anymore! I will find a way to work it all out. You will still see me at Anytime 6 days a week! I will do my best with the food plan. I will be back working out with Paul within a month. This weekend I watched Extreme Makeover again. This episode was about a man who went through a breakup, loss of a job and became homeless all during his weight loss journey and still made his goal. So I can do it, and I will keep you all posted along the way!

Temporary Trainers Step In & Dorothy Steps it Up!

“You can't hit a home run unless you step up to the plate. You can't catch fish unless you put your line in the water. You can't reach your goals if you don't try.”

Wow this has been a different week. With Paul on vacation I had several mini trainers step in. Last Thursday, on my way to the Anytime Fitness I got a text from Ryan Z to make sure I was still coming in that day. He and Alex (another trainer) convinced me to run my laps even though I didn’t want to. They were nice enough to run them with me. I was thinking the whole time I was running that Paul must have set up his spy’s before he left. LOL just kidding. I’m glad there are others trying to keep me on track.   

Then on Saturday my daughter had to come with me to the gym. She told me she was my trainer for the day.  I have to say I think she is a little harder on me then Paul J But it was fun. She couldn’t use the equipment but she did run with me, and we did crunches and push up’s together. She was also proud to tell EVERYONE how she trained me afterwards.  Paul better watch out, my 8 year old might give him a run for his money.

Something that inspired me and gave me encouragement this week was my in-laws being back in Wisconsin and seeing them. They are snowbirds and live in Florida half the year. Although their son and I are no longer together, we are still very close to them. They are the most amazing people I have ever met. Anyways, they kept telling me they were surprised at all the changes I’ve made. They were amazed at the weight loss etc. I guess I don’t notice all the changes in my own body because I’m with myself 24-7.  So it was good to hear. It just goes to show you even if you can’t see your own progress others around you can see it. I will have to remind myself of this when I am being too hard on myself!

"Anything is possible, It's your choice whether or not you choose to make IT happen."

Sorry I have been slacking a little with my blog the last few weeks. But I haven’t forgotten you all, life just got real busy you know how it goes at times. But I still am working hard. I am down another 5 lbs. from the last time I wrote. To top it off, I took another minute off my mile. I am super excited yet dreading the day I have to run a whole mile.  Did I mention I hate running…lol Paul, please don’t read that!
 

So I was feeling a little down last weekend, and doing what we all do when we’re feeling down, punishing myself. My friend Dan convinced me to watch Extreme Makeover Weight Loss Addition. I’ve never watched it before.  For those of you who lack motivation and inspiration I recommend it. The story I saw last Sunday was amazing! It gave me a push back to where I was when I started this journey.  My daughter is my inspiration but this is for me!  I sometimes have my lows but need to bounce back.  The quicker we bounce back the less we have to work to get where we were.  Even though there may be weeks I don’t loose weight, I am still getting healthier. I can do things I wasn’t able to before and my stamina is a lot stronger.  I have to keep in mind what I have done instead of what I haven’t.  Paul is good at keeping me on track and calling me out for my crap.  My daughter is good at reminding me why I keep going even when I don’t want to.

Paul has given me a challenge (or a goal so to speak); I need to loose 36 lbs. before August 1^st.  I worry about this, not that I can’t do it. But because I am afraid of slipping up!  I have to do a week on my own because he is going on vacation; don’t you think he should just take me with?  Just kidding Paul!  But I’m worried I won’t push myself as hard as he does. Most of all, I’m afraid of letting everyone down. Ok I am going to do this and I hope it is before August.  So Ryan Z if I am not at the gym this week, you better be calling me.

Now that it’s warmer out I have been spending a lot of time outside with my daughter. We’ve been going swimming, to the parks, shopping, and walking. Compared to last Summer I’m amazed at how much more I am doing.  So I will take whatever Paul will throw at me because clearly it’s working!

You have your highs and you have your lows...

This week was better than last. I’m still trying to get over Bronchitis, but I was at the gym every day. It feels like I am starting all over again. But it is not as hard as when I started the first time.

Paul is having me step up on things on my own now. I’ve been working the AMT machine and now I get to add the stairs in too. I think he is trying to make me love them, but I still hate them. I do it though because that is what he tells me to do. I guess I pay him for a reason. He thinks he is training me for the 2030 Olympics. Sometimes I think he is a little crazy (just kidding Paul). On the plus side, I have taken another minute off my mile.

Remember how I keep telling you how Paul shows up when you least expect him to. Well this time I got out of Waunakee and he still there! We ended up going to the same beach over the weekend. Even on my day off from the gym, I felt the need to go running, climb some stairs, or do some squats because he was there. Funny right?!?!

One of the lessons I’ve learned during this journey is not to just sit around wishing you could, but to actually do something about it. Since I’ve started working with Paul, and at Anytime Fitness, I am so much healthier. I have lost almost 40 lbs so far. But it is not just the weight that I am loosing. I feel better about my life, my daughter’s life and everything overall. SO if you are reading this and were like me, thinking life is too busy, it’s too expensive, or I just can’t. Trust me, just take the step into the gym, and keep going. No none of this is easy, and there are times I just want to say to hell with it all. If you think about it, it shouldn’t even be a choice. You need sleep, you need water, and you need to eat. Taking care of me and feeling healthy and happy should be a need as well. I know all the work has to come from myself; I have Paul to show me the way, and so many loving and supportive friends and family for encouragement. You’re all beautiful in my eyes and I love you all. But no one can make me do this, not even Paul that job is mine, and I am doing it.

________________________________________________________________________

I let excuses and rational control my week this week. Yes, I let myself slip a little and it turned out to be a lot. We all have excuses, and bad weeks but I let them affect me like I haven’t since I started this journey. It took me getting chewed out by Paul to realize just how bad I really was this week. SO I have to pick it back up next week, that I know for sure. I actually gained a pound this week. Believe me, I feel so embarrassed having to actually admit that.

I didn’t stick to my diet at all to be honest with you, I said to myself that I’d been doing so well that I could treat myself to things I know I didn’t need. Then, I just spiraled out of control from there. But okay I did admit to having a bad week so now it’s time to get back to it. More progress is around the corner. I promise will be back next week with better news.

Ready to Rock N' Roll After a Rough Week!

This week has been a difficult one. I started the week off with a pinched nerve in my neck and a sick kid, followed by me getting Bronchitis. I feel bad I haven’t been to the gym since Monday. I missed two training sessions with Paul. I did try to go to the gym on Thursday, but got really dizzy and had to turn around and come back home. The good news is I did see the doctor and am now on antibiotics. Hopefully I will be back at it again on Monday. As you can imagine my diet has went out the window most of the week. I spent a lot of time drinking water and eating chicken noodle soup. So when I got on the scale this morning I was surprised that I still lost another 2 lbs.

 For those of you who called or worried that I was quitting, there’s no chance--160 is around the corner! Thank you for being concerned though! I will back to my normal routine tomorrow. Sorry I don’t have much to report this week, but there will be much more next week.

Determination's helping to drive the # on the scale down!

Wow! What a wonderful Mother Day, I hope all my mothers out there had a beautiful day as well. This was an even greater week. Workouts are always tougher with Paul then just me, but I am not complaining because I have lost 10 lbs this week in total!!! I might complain a lot but thank you Paul for pushing me even when I don’t want to do it. I am still in disbelief that I lost that much in one week. But I did, and it makes me more determined to keep going. I do get discouraged a lot, but this is when I know the choice I made was the right one. There is no turning back now.

This also means that the food planning is working. I hate planning it all out. How do I know what I want to eat tomorrow or the next day? But not planning wasn’t working. It has also eliminated the quick fixes; short cuts and eating out which in most cases is not healthy for you. Planning also allows me to stick with my diet. I have no excuses. Now when I eat out, it is also planned. For instance my daughter took me out for lunch for Mother’s day. But I am not just eating out to eat out or because I didn’t plan ahead.

I have also decided to treat myself more lately. Anytime Fitness gave me a free massage at “The Massage Place”! Let me tell you the ladies there are wonderful! So I have decided that if I keep my progress up, I will get a massage each week. I need to reward myself. Mary, my massage therapist told me that once I get under the 300 lbs mark I will get a free one. So now I have even more motivation. I beat up on my body every day; so I should also be good to it. It’s okay to pamper yourself too right?


"The purpose here is to reward yourself for a job well done. This is positive reinforcement. The reward is an opportunity to stop and smell the roses that bloom as a result of your hard work."

"By failing to prepare you prepare to fail"

Another week down and I am not dead yet, all! Although I have accused Paul several time of trying to kill me. He doesn’t even deny it. Just keeps telling me it will look good on his resume. But I hate to admit it; the stuff he is telling me is working. I keep using my food plan. I’m taking a day to plan it, and then cooking it all ahead of time. But it worked. I could stay with the plan at least 90% of the time. So this means the scale is moving down again, another 5 lbs. off this week!!

The work outs seem to be going well too. I have learned not to say I don’t like something during my work outs because if I do, I get to do it even more often.  Gotta love Paul for that one. But I am running further. No thanks to Ryan, who got Paul to make me run 3 laps around the building this week. I can run one lap without feeling like I am going to die and am working on two.  I can also do three minutes on the AMT machine (which I hate by the way).  I’m still working on warming up to the stairs; I think I have a love hate relationship with those.  But I have taken another minute off my mile tooJ.  Although I still get frustrated when I get sick during my workouts, I think I want to be a trainer when this is all said and done. Get paid to make people sweat, cry and puke…okay maybe not, I will leave that one up to Paul.

I did go ahead with the injection on Friday. I am usually sore a day or two after. But surprisingly I was back at Anytime on Saturday. Not sure about Monday when Paul will be testing it all out.  So keep your fingers crossed for me!

Time to be selfish

Ok ya’ll, I’ve been in kind of a funk this week. Okay, maybe the last few weeks. But I am back at it again in full force. It took Paul giving me a few lectures, and popping up when I least expect him to.  I swear that man has a wanted poster behind every gas station counter saying, “If you see this person, call me.”  I am starting to get paranoid. Also, I got my ass chewed out from other people in my life, saying “Hey, things aren’t right with you.”  Maybe it was my birthday this week or the lectures I got, but I get it.  I am not taking care of me.

So here is what I found out. My biggest downfall is letting toxic people in my life. These are those people who you love, but they stress you out and make your life crazy, and rarely do anything positive for you. So I took a long hard look at the way things have been going lately. I have been working out, but that is only half the battle.  What suffers is my energy, the way I eat, and staying away for smoking. If my diet isn’t right, I can’t lose weight.  If I don’t stop smoking, it affects my workout.  So this weekend I finally said goodbye to these toxic people. I do hope they find a way to get the help they need, but right now I need to be focused on my daughter and myself.  This was and is hard for me, because I am a helper and a fixer. But I can’t help someone that doesn’t want to help themselves, and I can’t fix other people.  It is hard for me to realize that sometimes. A big part of me feels like I am being selfish, but anyone who knows me knows I am not a selfish person. But that is what I have to be now.  This is my health, my future, and my daughter’s too.  I have to be reminded of that sometimes.  Not only by myself, but by others too.  So thank you to all of you who gave me the ass kicking I needed this week!

Here are some ways I am going to keep myself on track. First, I am going to keep working out. Second, I am going to write a food plan each week. This will help me keep my food under control. I can’t take credit for this though, it was Paul’s idea. If I am like most of you, we get busy, so we eat out, stop for fast food, or whatever’s quick and on the go, because we don’t think we have time to eat right. I have to take time for eating healthy like I take the time to work out. It also means I have to take time to prepare food ahead of time (like making lunches for work).  I tried this for part of the week and it has been working. I will let you know how it is going next week. The third thing I need to do is quit smoking. I don’t know what the answer to this is quite yet, I am still working on it. I know it is part willpower and I make excuses to rationalize it to myself. Maybe I do need the wanted poster behind the registers! I will beat this one. I know that, and if I can this week I will be happy to say next week that I been smoke free for seven days. But if anyone has any really good ideas, please pass them on!

I celebrated my 39^th birthday this Friday (April 27^th). I have to be honest, I didn’t follow my diet so well that day. But I want to look back next year and say on my 40^th that I have reached most of my health goals, if not all of them. I am going to have a party, so mark you calendars now, you can come help me celebrate! I did have a very nice birthday this year! Thank you to all my wonderful family and friends who made my day very special! Love you all so much!

Taking the good with the bad

So I’ve been struggling all week with quitting smoking.  I am not saying I am perfect, but I have been trying as hard as I can.  My weakest point this week was when I was determined to buy a pack of cigarettes. I got in my car and said, “This morning was too stressful. I need a cigarette.”  I drove to the nearest gas station and walked up to the door. Guess who happened to be there?  None other than my trainer Paul. I swear he shows up whenever I want to make the wrong health choice. He has some kind of radar or something. So I bought a diet Dc Pepper instead and went to the gym to work out.

I’m a little frustrated this week, mainly because the scale hasn’t been moving much.  Paul thinks I might not be eating enough. So I’ve been keeping an even more detailed list of what I have been eating so Paul and I can go over it on Monday.  He told me if you don’t eat enough calories that you will have a hard time losing weight.  He also said that I am at the gym enough that the scale should be moving more than it has the last few weeks. I thought I was eating too much, but never thought I was eating too little.  I’m still trying to get enough protein in my diet, but it is hard for me to remember that I have to get it in, especially after working out. You are told most of you life that eating 3 square mills is import part of life, so getting used to eating 5 to 6 times a day take some time to become routine.  Especially when you get busy taking care of children, or when you’re not at home. But writing it down does help.

One of the highlights of this week was that my daughter Rachael came to watch me work out. She wants to work out even more now but doesn’t want to wait until she is 14.  Paul let her run around the building with me and that made her very happy. She has even called her grandparents to tell them that she got to run with me. Another highlight to this week:  I haven’t been able to walk through a department store or grocery store since I hurt my back. We always take for granted the simple things until we can’t do them any longer. I had to use one of those remote controlled carts to get around. Yesterday I am happy to say I was able to walk though a Wal-Mart store with out needing help. This is a milestone for me. Next stop Mall of America…

My back injection has been postponed for two weeks. They are really careful when doing these injections they will not do it if there is any signs of infection in you body. So I had to have a white blood cell count done, and mine were elevated. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised because everyone in my house has been sick all week. I have felt fine. But now I have to wait two weeks to get this injection.

I have never felt so much support and love as I have now, so I feel the need to thank all of you who are cheering me on and supporting me. I was at Alexis’s celebration this weekend and was greeted by so many of her friends and family. Most I have never met before, and they all were encouraging me and telling me they are readers. You all took me by surprise, but thank you!  And congratulations to Alexis for competing in her figure competition this weekend.  I am proud of you too!

From the Outside, Looking In

Today’s post is from Dorothy’s best friend, Christena.  She tells us a little about their past, the changes she already sees in her friend, and how she feels about all of it!



It is not often that someone can say that they have had a best friend for 30 years. I am one of those lucky few who can say such a thing. Dorothy and I met at church when I was seven years old and we have been friends ever since. Over the years we have shared a lot. We have laughed at life and cried on each other’s shoulders, said our last goodbyes to friends and relatives, and rejoiced at weddings and births. Some years were hard, some easy, but we always found comfort in times of need on the others shoulder. It is truly a rare and precious thing to have such a friend in this world.

There is one thing though, that I could never help Dorothy with. That was her struggle with weight loss. Over the years we have had many conversations about this topic. She would tell me how she started a new diet program and how she wished and hoped to get the weight off. We would make plans for the shopping spree or a vacation. But the wish and hope and dream never seemed to materialize. I could never tell her how much it worried me. If I could do anything to help her I would. However, I knew that this was a battle only she could fight. So I prayed for her and encouraged her to keep trying.

Then a few weeks ago she called me. I heard something new in her voice: determination and fear. Fear that she would not be able to do all the things she wanted to with her daughter; fear that her health problems would lead to an early death. I also heard determination.  She said to me, “I’m not going to keep living like this.  I am making a change.  I joined a gym and I’m learning to eat differently.”  This was the moment I had been praying for! She was not talking about wishing anymore.  She was talking about goals, work, and change.  Of course it did not stop there.  She has been calling me and telling me about pounds coming off and her “mean” personal trainer who challenges her every day to try stuff she never dreamed she could do (I really want to give that guy a hug and tell him to keep it up).

Saturday I drove down to see her for a gym “date.”  She looked great! We went to the gym to work out and WOW!! I remember when she could not make it through the mall. She went two miles on the elliptical then she moved on to the treadmill and the bike, for a total of four miles. But that was not the end of our day!  We went to Madison to see my mom in the hospital and even went for lunch. In the past my friend could not have done so much in one day, but obviously working out has really increased her stamina. I’m so proud of her. She is not wishing or hoping that she will lose weight. She’s working to change her life one step at a time. I’m so excited and I know she can do it. I can’t wait to do the polka with her at her daughter’s wedding!

Emotional Rollercoaster..

This has been a week of emotional struggles.  For many reasons, April has always been a hard month for me, even more so since my sister passed away.  Krissy (my sister) and I shared the same birthday. We were born on the same day and she was 7 years older.  But even before she died it was an emotional month for me. Just ask my best friend, Christena, and she would tell you that this month is very unlucky for me. I am determined to change this. However, my still in process divorce and other life stressors have made this week difficult.  On top of all that keeping my work out schedule and diet hasn’t been easy for me. In the past this would have stopped me or given me a reason to give up. But I feel more than ever that this is a change that has to happen now.  I even get frustrated with myself, feeling like I should be able to do more than I currently am.

Monday I met with my spine specialist. She has recommended that I go and get another injection in my back. I was hoping that I wouldn’t need another one. But she thinks that with another injection I will be able to get further in my exercise program. So this Friday I will being doing just that. I don’t like the idea because I have to take a day off of everything. The first 24 hrs after I get the shot I will not be able to walk very well. Usually my right side gets numb and my coordination is off.  But if it gets me to the point where I can get more into exercising I am going to give it a try.

Monday I also had training with Paul. You know how you look at a machine when you are working out and think I will NEVER get on that one! Well ever since I have joined Anytime I looked at that stair climber machine with absolute dread! Let’s just say after my back injury I have had problems with stairs, mainly because my left side of my body has been weaker. I usually had to take steps one at time, so I avoided them at all cost. So as luck would have it, Paul had me on the dreaded machine and I was walking steps. I think he told me I made it 11 stories before he let me stop. For me 11 stories is unbelievable. I have been feeling sore from it all week.  Feeling the burn is an understatement!  And he had me on it again on Friday!

Paul met with me again on Thursday. We were having a good workout but I ended up aggravating my back again. I got really frustrated and emotional. I hate that I let myself get to this point! I get mad at myself that my body doesn’t do what I think it should be able to do. So my emotions got the better of me on Thursday, and Paul turned from trainer to therapist and didn’t let me leave until I talked it out with him.  I was feeling like I was failing and wondering what the hell I was doing all of this for.  Paul told me that lots of us go through this when we are training. Not to mention he reminded me how far I have come, and what I have already accomplished. Once again we are always hardest on ourselves!

I still struggle with diet, but this week my problem was not eating enough, especially protein. I have a hard time remembering to get protein in after my work out, which is usually between lunch and supper. Paul has been trying to get me to eat 5 to 6 smaller meals a day. I do well in the morning, but I never eat between lunch and supper. Paul has told me that protein is important to heal muscles, so I’m trying!

Now I am going to admit something I am not proud of.  I have been struggling with quitting smoking. For those of you have known me since I was young, sorry to disappoint you, because I feel like I disappointed myself when I started.  I’ve never been good at getting rid of bad habits, but I am happy to say I am a quitter! I have been smoke free for a few days so far and I plan to stay that way.  It just doesn’t make sense to make all these health changes and keep doing something that could still kill me. So now that I am telling all of you, I have to keep it up.

On a good note, I had a very nice visit from my best friend, Christena, on Saturday. I did not know this when I joined Anytime fitness but she is also a member of Anytime in Beaver Dam, so she came to work out with me.  She has not seen me since I started working out and she was surprised at how well I am doing.  On Thursday we’ll be posting a special blog from Christena.  She will share about my journey from her point of view!

By the way I took another 3 lbs off this week, and still going.

Learning to believe...

At the beginning of last week I was still restricted on what I could do physically, because I aggravated my back problems helping my soon to be ex-husband move his things out of my house.  I missed training with Paul on Monday because of this, which made me a little angry.  But I refused to let that detour me from my goals and I was back at it the next day.

On Tuesday, Paul had me outside doing my exercising. I was running in the park. Yes, me, who said I would never run again, was outside running through the park. The further I ran the more I thought, “I can’t do this.  I am never going to make it.”  But I did.  I’m still trying to prove to myself I can, every day.  But I’ve realized I should never say never again. Believing in myself is hard sometimes, but I am getting used to it.  Also, feeling comfortable about doing exercise outside has not been easy for me. This new program is pushing me in all areas I guess.  Like Paul gives me a choice!

Paul also had me play games this week in training.  Although I don’t know if I think his games are very fun!  You would think playing a kids game, like Memory, would be extremely easy. Not so much after you got done walking a mile and you have to play it while doing pushups.  It’s not so easy to remember when you know if you get it wrong you have to do more pushups.  But I survived.  Looking back on it now, it was kind of fun.

I realize that sticking to a diet when you have a child and other people living with you is hard.  It was even harder over the holiday weekend. To top it off one of my roommates is working at a sub place here in town. I love subs, just not the ones that are healthy for you. So I’ve been trying to find other food I can enjoy while they are eating. I’m not perfect and I do slip. Like getting a muffin with my morning coffee and having Paul walk into the gas station while I was buying it!  I really didn’t think about it until he said something to the affect that muffins are just cupcakes without frosting. Not the healthiest choice. That is what this is all about: Learning how to change my diet while working out right. But the more you try the easier it becomes.

So here are my accomplishments this week. I took another 2 minutes off my mile, walking, biking, and on the elliptical. I have lost another 4 lbs (for a total of 27) and I’m still going. I have to continue to thank my friends and family and every one who keeps pushing me and encouraging me thought this journey.  It has helped more than you know! Also thank you to Ryan Z., who comes in to do cardio with me sometimes, and to Paul who pushes me even when I tell him “I can’t.” You’re all amazing and I love you for it!

Being smart about pain

I guess it is possible to push yourself too hard!  This week I was grounded, so to speak, by Paul.  He thought I was on the verge of tearing my muscles, so he made me slow down to keep that from happening.  I was also not allowed to use the elliptical or do resistance training for two days. I also missed a day of training this week.  Paul said that tearing muscles would be counterproductive because of how long it will take to heal.

He also said he wouldn’t train me if I couldn’t give 100% and he didn’t feel right taking my money if I couldn’t go all out.  Here I was, all prepared to keep going, but now I see I need to slow down.  This just goes to show that we are always harder on ourselves than anyone else is.

In the past I was afraid of pain.  That was one of the biggest excuses I used to stop me from working on my health… I couldn’t because my back hurt.  I spent a lot of time thinking of all the things I couldn’t do instead of doing something to fix myself. Believe me I used all the excuses in the world. But seeing the progress I’ve made and how everyone has supported me and rallied around me when I finally made up my mind to do this is amazing. I realized how blessed I am that I have so many people who have went out of their way to help and support me. You’re all amazing!

Despite this little set back, I was able to shave almost 2 minutes off my mile. I can bike a mile in less than 6 minutes. I have also lost another 6lbs (for a total of 23). Considering where I started, I would have never thought I would be here in such a short time. I feel even more determined to reach my goals. I know I have a long ways to go, but I feel I prove to myself I can do this every day! My only regret is that I waited so long to start!

My motivation



It's week four and I'm still kicking.  I don’t think I have ever felt so sick and good at the same time. I definitely have more energy even though most of my muscles are sore. I thought about giving up several times this week, but I am sticking with it. I never thought this was going to be easy but I didn’t expect it to be this hard. Then again, the things worth working for never really come easy, right?

I feel like have worked harder this week than ever before.  I am trying to do what Paul suggested by eating 6 smaller meals a day and adding more protein to my diet. But I’ve been feeling sick when I eat and while working out. I’ve been told this is normal, just my body’s way of getting used to it all.  I just hope I get there soon J Don’t worry though, I am not a quitter!

My highlight this week, besides starting a new position at work, was boxing a little with Paul.  It made me feel like I was beating him up a little for a change!

Although I feel like I worked harder this week than I have other weeks, I only lost 3 lbs (for a total of 17). I guess I feel like I should have lost more. But I did loose so that is a plus.  More importantly I am determined to make this healthy life style a permanent picture in my life! NO ONE can reach all their health goals in one month, right!?

I am reading this and thinking that this all sounds negative, so let me give you some insight on why I think this is good for me and what keeps me motivated. I joke with most people when we talk about me working out and how things are going with Paul. I always say I am going to go get beat up in our sessions. Now he doesn’t really beat me up, but he does push me in our work outs, which I need. Even if I get sick on him though, he is supportive and encouraging. Even when I tell him he is trying to kill me or say “I can’t.” He proves to me that I CAN and I am still alive.  He hasn’t killed me YET….lol.

The most important motivator in my life will always be my daughter. I told you about my mom in my first blog. I loved my mom more than anyone when I was growing up. She was an amazing woman.  Loving and caring, not just for me, but for everyone who know her. But in all my memories of her, she was extremely overweight. It was hard on me growing up, because people do judge others on the way they look. All I know is I loved her. When I was really young others would tease me because she was overweight. I worried for her.

So when my daughter told me she wanted me to be healthy, how could I not flash back to the little girl I use to be, that loved her mom so much, and worried about her all the time? I don’t what that for my daughter. I also want her to know she can do anything she wants to and if she works for it! Though my struggles, she will learn that health is important. It starts with taking care of yourself first, so you can take care of those around you. If I want her to be healthy, I have to show her what it looks like.

Another thing that keeps me motivated is Alexis, Lindsay, Paul, a few members (I am sorry I don’t know all of your names yet), who have made me feel welcome at Anytime Fitness Waunakee. Your smiles, conversation, and encouragement make me feel like I truly belong, even if I feel like a fish out of water sometimes. And all of you that have read my blog, and left words of encouragement. I have never felt so astonished or such a sense of pride that there are so many of you reading my thoughts, struggles and accomplishments. You will have to ask Lindsay for the details but all I remember is there have been over 500 visits to the blog, all over the country and in several other countries as well! I am going to leave you all with a post I found on Anytime Fitness Waunakee’s Facebook page today. It encouraged me and I feel I need to share!

                                                                                               

By: Nicole Nagrani IFBB Bikini Pro

Overcoming life's obstacles

Three weeks down, and it seems the theme this week is “Life can get in the way!” I have made a trip to the emergency room for a friend who is staying with me. I also had to take care of my daughter who got sick this week and needed to make a trip to the doctor. I find there are many circumstances that can get in the way. Usually I would take these situations and use them as excuses not to go the gym and work out. But I am proud to say that I still made it my 6 out of 7 days this week, although I did miss one day training with Paul, I still went. I really owe a BIG thanks to Bo and Ashley (my current roommates) who were willing to help me with Rachael, even though she was sick this week, so I could go to the gym. Thank you for keeping me on track, even if at times I really didn’t want to!

Paul also worked hard to keep me on track. After I missed one of our scheduled workouts, I knew the next session was going to be tough. I was pushed so hard that I got sick. I know this is normal at times but it kind of scared me a little. I really had to push myself the next day to go back. But I did it. I find the more I make myself go the more it feels like a habit. By the end of the week I was really looking forward to going.

My milestones this week: Three weeks ago Paul timed me on how long it took me to walk a mile. Unfortunately I wasn’t quite able to make the mile. I walked .80 miles in 28.5 minutes. We checked again this week I am now doing 1 mile in about 25 minutes. I really didn’t believe I could to that when this all started. I have also lost another 7 lbs (for a total of 14 lbs in three weeks). Every time I get a little discouraged I remember talking to Lindsay when I first signed up. She asked me how much weight I was planning on losing. She said when I am done I will look like her because she is the same height as me and is at the weight I want to be. So I am working at trying to be a Lindsay look a like. LOL!  Hope Waunakee can handle both of us!

In the beginning...

March 10^th, 2012

Two weeks down!  It’s hard to believe at times, but this is already starting to become a habit. Don’t get me wrong, nothing is easy and there are many times I’ve thought about giving up. Quitting would be easier. I am convinced that Paul is trying to find all the muscles I haven’t used in years and make them all hurt. LOL…just kidding Paul.

Paul is patient and always seems to push me further than I think I can go. One of the first times we met he told me that in a few weeks I would be running. I remember thinking that he was crazy. I haven’t ran since I was in junior high or high school. He also told me I would be walking a mile. I haven’t walked a mile in almost 9 years. Last Sunday I did make my first mile, and Paul had me running around the building last Tuesday. So I guess he isn’t so crazy! I’ve been pushed, and always feel out of breath and red faced when we are done.  I think to myself, “Wow, I did that and I didn’t die!”  I know, sounds funny right.

All of my life I have focused on and enjoyed taking care of others. Maybe that is why I like being a mom so much. It is easy to take care of others and not take care of myself. Ask anyone who knows me well and they will tell you that about me. SO I had a hard time taking the time to go work out in the past couple weeks. I know it sounds strange, it’s only and hour. But it’s something I am doing for myself and that seems strange to me. I can tell you there are days I don’t want to do it. On those days the people closest to me remind me that I have to go. Even my daughter will tell me “NO mommy you NEED to go.”  The only thing she is sad about is that she isn’t able to come with and workout with me. She keeps asking and I have to keep telling her she not old enough yet. So far I have made it 6 days out of the week to Anytime Fitness.

Another obstacle I am facing is making changes to my diet. I was a big Pepsi drinker before I started at the gym. I justified this by saying it was how I got my caffeine.  I really don’t like drinking coffee.  Paul told me I could lose another pound or two a week just by switching that. So I haven’t had regular Pepsi in two weeks. I also eat a lot of fast food breakfasts (about five times a week). In the last two weeks I’ve maybe had two. Paul has been good about looking over my food log and giving me ideas on what I need to change to make the most of weight loss with exercise.

I saw my doctor on Friday.  Not only is my weight down by 7 lbs, but she also took me off one of my diabetes medications (short acting insulin). She told me I have to keep a close watch on my blood sugars because she thinks we will have reduce the medication I am on as well. The doctor also believes she will eventually take me off of it completely if I keep up my good work.

So for all of those people out there just like me, think you can. Just take the first step and you will know you can! I am proving it to myself so why can’t you? I am excited to see what the next week brings. Thank you to Paul, Lindsay, and Alexis for always being excited to see me and making me feel welcome! Thank you for my family and friends who believe in me! Thank you to everyone that has encouraged me and given me the extra boost to keep going!

Taking the first step

Meet Dorothy, one of Anytime Fitness Waunakee’s newest members.  After being inspired by her daughter, Dorothy came into the gym nervous, but ready to make a huge change in her life.  She has big goals, and reaching them won’t be easy, but Dorothy is motivated and is sure to succeed with the help of Anytime Fitness Waunakee and her personal trainer, Paul Marx.

To help keep her on track, and because she is sure to motivate so many others, Dorothy has agreed to my request to write about her weight loss journey each week.  Through this blog, you’ll get to hear how she is doing, what changes she is making, her struggles, and her smallest victories.  Her story is a great one, and there’s no doubt you’ll want to encourage her along the way.  Feel free to say hello, wish her luck, or just write her a message of reinforcement!   She’ll be a mainstay here at the gym, so you are bound to see her!

And if you have your own inspirational story, or working out has made a huge difference in your life, post about it, shoot us your story, or stop by the office and let us know.  We’d love to hear, and so would others that are just taking the first steps towards a new, healthier life!


So, that’s enough from me!  Here’s an introduction to Dorothy, in her own words! 

I am the youngest of six children; I had one sister and four brothers. My mother, father, and half of my siblings are overweight.  I always had a few extra lbs in high school and more as an adult.  At age 30 I got married and had a baby. I gained a lot of weight with my pregnancy, eventually weighing over 300 lbs.  When my daughter was 6 months old, I woke up and couldn’t get out of bed or walk. I somehow injured my back, they thought during childbirth.  I went through months of pain, lots of pain killers and muscle relaxers, physical therapy and nothing seemed to help.  I was in pain all the time. I finally saw a spine specialist who suggested I get an epidural shot in my back. At the time I could not stand the pain anymore and I tried it. It really did help, although I was concerned that these shots contained steroids. I ended up losing my job that I had had for about 6 years, because I couldn’t even walk. I was also gaining more weight because I was no longer active. I had to get shots in my back every 3 months and it started to help where I could get around with a walker. Finally being mobile, I was able to go back to college and get my accounting degree. The shots I had to get went to every 6 months.

I started to research having gastro bypass surgery in 2006, because I had hit my max weight of 480 lbs. Needless to say I was scared away from surgery when my sister had the same surgery and passed away after hers because of complications. I graduated from college in December of 2009 and was able to start working. I became more active, but at the time I was already diabetic and taking medication for cholesterol. I also had sleep apnea. I was just starting to be able to walk without a walker most of the time.

Although I was working I wasn’t able to keep a job for very long because I was still having problems walking and my health had declined so I was sick a lot!  I was considered disabled and felt like a failure because I couldn’t keep a job. 

In January of 2011 I lost my mother. They told us they thought her weight was the reason she passed away. By this time I was scared. I lost the two most important women in my life because of their health at early ages.


It made me start thinking about what am I doing to myself. I started to think about gastro bypass again. I felt like I needed to change things but wasn’t sure where to start. I knew I had to do something soon because I didn’t know what would happen to my daughter if I died. I started talking to my doctor and a dietitian. I was able to lose 110 lbs.

In October of last year my husband and I separated and are now going through a divorce. Because of this I was feeling even more pressure to get healthy because I was more convinced than ever that I need to be there for my daughter because I feel like her father cannot. After talking to my cousin Chris a lot, he convinced me to start watching the Biggest Loser on TV. After he pestered me relentlessly to watch the show I finally gave in. I thought it was wonderful that these people are really losing weight, but I could never do that. After a few weeks of me watching it my daughter got interested in it and wanted to watch it also. About two weeks ago she said “mommy I think you should go on the show.”  I asked her “Do you really think I could do that?”  She said “Yes mommy.  I want you to be healthy.” I can’t tell you what that did to me. I was actually thinking about doing it.

But that is just it. I do a lot of thinking and not acting. I want to get healthy but I am not doing anything about it. I was talking more to my cousin and blaming him for corrupting my daughter with The Biggest Loser!  He said “What is stopping you?” I responded, “I don’t want to go on the show and have someone yell at me all the time and let the whole world see me fat.”

Then he asked “Why don’t you join a gym? You know you won’t get what you need out of it unless you hire a trainer also?” I thought about it that day. Why not? I am starting a new chapter in my life and getting rid of excess baggage.  Why not get rid of all excess baggage (meaning my weight too)?

On Tuesday February 21 I called Anytime Fitness.  I asked all my questions and set up an appointment to visit the gym on Wednesday. Lindsay showed me around and explained everything to me. Lindsay was very friendly and supportive. She also set me up with Paul, a personal trainer. I was a little overwhelmed after leaving.  I was feeling good that I signed up, but afraid that I might not succeed.  But the most important feeling I had was that I need to change my future.

On Friday February 24^th I met Paul for the first time. I am really happy that Lindsay suggested him. I really wanted someone who would be aggressive but not in your face. I know I don’t do well with someone yelling at me. Paul was very nice and informative. He went over how dieting and working out needs to work together. He measured my body weight and body fat and asked me about my goals. Then we worked out and he assessed my abilities and physical level. I committed to training with him three days a week. I can say I was worried but somehow they had the perfect trainer for me that fits my needs well. This all went better than I had expected. I was very happy and felt excited with my decision to join.

So here is my goal. I will get down to 160 lbs. I believe I can do this in 2 years or less. I will not have diabetes, high cholesterol or sleep apnea when I am done! My biggest obstacle is myself, if I let myself be. Other obstacles will be finances (like being able to afford Paul) and time (I have a child that needs to be watched). But really all these are excuses….I need to do this for me, my daughter and our future!

I won’t lie, the first day (or three) I was really sore. I haven’t worked out in like 9 years. My legs did hurt. But it got better with time. I feel better a week later. I am happier and feel better and have been sleeping better. I feel good walking into the gym because staff is always greeting me with a smile and Paul always stops by to say hi.